You know the feelings well: Getting bummed out by a negative response someone said to you when you were really hoping for a positive conversation. Running around all day pissed off because annoying stuff keeps happening everywhere you go. Planning, promoting or running a big time event that you worked your ass off for only to get overlooked in the credits or suffer through an unpleasant experience.
Many times we are disappointed due to the sheer lack of attention or focus towards our enjoyment. I have found that complete clarity around what we value and what we want to feel sets the foundation for getting what we want. That clarity blossoms into present awareness so we can recognize if it’s happening or not in the moment. Next, we can navigate to our desired end result (happiness and enjoyment) by what we say or do.
Recall those situations where you felt that expectation hangover. How much effort did you really put into making sure you got what you wanted?
What could I have said?
What could I have done?
What boundaries could I have implemented?
Reflection is a powerful life tool because it helps create your future. We can learn from our past and shift our approach for an intended feeling in the present. This shows us our preferences for every kind of situation. We learn what really want to hear, what we really want to feel, how we want to show up or what it means to be happy.
Don’t underestimate your past!
Use it as fuel to co-create your reality now. Use it to shape all of your conversations, events, activities, relationships, etc.
What do you now know you want to experience emotionally, physically, spiritually, energetically or mentally?
Hold up, let’s squash some things that might be popping up for you…
Is your head thinking “Isn’t that manipulation?” On the contrary. This is about integrity. This is about owning who you intrinsically are through authentic communication. Why shouldn’t you get everything you ever wanted? You deserve it!
There’s also the argument of “But the other person might not get what they wanted if It’s all about me”. There is always a way for everyone to get what they want. I whole-heartedly believe in win-win scenarios. Win-lose simply is not sustainable. If I get what I want and you do not get what you want from the same situation, there is a block in abundance. The person who doesn’t get what they want now has to deal with limiting beliefs around lack and people pleasing antics, which perpetuates unpleasant experiences for everyone. However, when we both win, we both are happy and more willing to help each other continuously creating universal fulfillment. Which cycle would you rather create? Know that you are creating something either way by your decisions, requests and actions.
Now, come up with situations in the near future that you know you will be experiencing. These examples could be as big as you having a baby, changing schools in the middle of your term, moving cross-country or retiring. However, I would suggest to start small with examples like the fact that you’re going to school in the morning, have to get a project done by Friday or cooking your significant other dinner later tonight.
Ask yourself how you can create the experience you want by predicting all the possible obstacles that could be in your way during that particular situation. Then come up with solutions! It’s that simple. Think of predicting as utilizing possibilities for success.
EVERYONE is going to tell you what you should name your baby. You are not necessarily going to be welcomed with open arms at your new school or neighborhood. Your partner always complains about your cooking.
These don’t have to be negative obstacles, either. They could be situational facts that you just haven’t taken advantage of yet.
The cute guy at the coffee shop is always there on Tuesdays. That last sliver of paper with the personal trainer’s number on it is still there on the community board. Your Mother always wants to talk to you. It’s summer! It’s fall!
For every upcoming scenario, ask yourself…
What do I want?
What do I need?
What won’t I stand for?
What would I like to feel?
Awareness around this kind of co-creation is beautiful! On the deepest (and most cliche) level, we all just want to love and be loved. We can start that process by loving ourselves enough to ask for what we want and predict what could be in our way based on our knowledge right now.
To enjoy the unexpected, you don’t need to be psychic, you just need to be strategic. (TWEET THAT)
Carpe Diem, loves!